THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE

Seriously? It's about time SOMEONE gave me a job. I've been unemployed since the stone age now. (Hanly Center doesn't count, although speaking of which, I've decided I am at that level of desperation once again.) If it weren't for Babysitting, sure I'd probably be homeless and / or mugging my friends.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Why am I so unemployable? I can't be that bad.

I've a nice CV, good references, experience etc. It's just a bit ridiculous at this stage. I'll actually work anywhere. McDonalds toilets? Grand. As long as theres a steady pay check I am happy.

Okay, but you know whats so much worse than being unemployed? Is those inconsiderate spas who never stop complaining about their jobs.

"Oh, I just have so many hours to work, I just don't know what to do?" Ehh, here, pass us a few hours then, would ya? Or go on a shopping spree with the mad amount of money your making to make yourself feel better. SPA! Just stop complaining about being tired, about having too many hours, about your boss who is "such a dick head". AT LEAST YOU HAVE A BOSS.

I think everyone in the unemployment line should form a mafia against these people, and steal their jobs, because they clearly don't deserve then. Are you unemployed? Unemployable? I am here to recruit you into my mafia. We'll have meetings and house parties, and invite everyone. Except the employed. They can't get that night off work.